It's amazing that two years down the road, a certain situation has triggered me to get on my creative juices and write a post again.
I met Ira last night, to catch up on life. I wanted to actually be there for her in however I can with whatever she's going through. The thing is, catching up with Ira always feels like it's a blast from the past. Feels like someone slapped my forehead with their hands full of my past memories. Just like, "Here you go! Take a ride in the past bitch." *smacksforehead*
That just sounds absurd, but yeah it happens all the time. Hahaha.
So naturally, I started looking up the past and my only way to do so was through this journal. It's baffles me how I used to have so much time on my hands to blog about everything and anything under the sun.
After looking through the journal, I found this deep expressive post I wrote when I was just 18. I'm very impressed with myself to be honest. Hahaha.
Below was what I wrote exactly 7 years ago:( Read more...Collapse )
I know right. How emotionally dramatic was I? Hahaha. To think that I was 18 back then.
Reading through that though, I can actually pat myself at the back after all these years. I got over him.. well eventually. Of course you'll never be able to forget your first love. All that euphoric, ecstasy, anguish, heartache moments you experienced.
Would I want to relive those moments? Probably not.
Did it make me a better person than I was before? Yeah, probably did.
Did i grew as a person from going through all those heartbreaking moments. Definitely yes.
Thing is, once you've been emotionally connected to someone for that long during your adolescent years, you tend to have a part of them in you somehow.
What I've learnt though - No boy/ man is the same. Everyone's different in their own unique way. What you want isn't always what you get. What you yearn isn't always gonna be what your partner yearns. Somehow, you'll live with that. Somehow you'll manage to find a way to accept him for who he is no matter how frustrating your differences might be.
Times were different back then. I was young, naive and hopelessly blinded in love. I'm not saying what we had wasn't real, to me it was. At that time I just didn't know what the world had in store for me.
Few years down the road, who knew I would have met my match. My better half. I wouldn't say he picked up the pieces,
someone else helped with that but he plastered the pieces back together though. The man who'd push me in ways I never thought possible. The good and the bad. The one I plan on spending my life with.
Funny thing is, I feel as though our journey was written, like it's fated to be the way it's meant to be. Till this very day, I still believe that we're meant to be together. I feel that all the events that happened in my life eventually led me to him.
It's been a month since he left. I tell myself that I don't miss him, but in actual fact I do. I'm just in denial 99% of the time. *rollseyes*
Counting down to the days I'm very much looking forward to!
Can't wait till you're back baby! I'll see you soon. xxx